“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)
In Islam, marriage is a mutual contract that is signed with the consent of both parties involved. Mahr is something that is given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage, either during or after the completion of the marriage. It is obligatory according to the Qur’an, Sunnah, and Ijma.
“Give women ‘you wed’ their due dowries (Mahr) graciously. But if they waive some of it willingly, then you may enjoy it freely with a clear conscience..” (Quran 4:4)
The Mahr can be any kind of money, property or service (including memorizing the Qur’an). This implies that it needs to be simplified for the groom according to his condition.
Once the marriage has been consummated, the Mahr belongs solely to the wife. There is no stipulated amount for the Mahr, but according to Sunnah its value can be 400 dirhams of silver and this was the Mahr of the daughters and the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
Extravagance, exaggeration, excessiveness in demanding large Mahr is undoubtedly detestable or even prohibited. Since this then becomes a major obstacle in the way of marriage. It is desirable to specify the amount of Mahr in the marriage contract to avoid any possible dispute that might arise.
The concept of Mahr has been replaced with that of dowry because of the synonymous usage of the words. Especially in South Asia, giving dowry is heavily practiced.
According to the Encyclopedia Britannica’s definition, Dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband or his family in marriage and this practice has a long history in Europe, South Asia, Africa and other parts of the world.
In Indian society, this practice has been responsible for a majority of estranged marriages, violation of rights, and in some cases resulted in the bride’s death. Despite the Dowry Prohibition Act of May 1, 1961, Dowry is still widely practiced in India today.
It is a “demanded gift” by the groom’s family with the compliance by the bride’s family who give it in an effort to ensure that their daughter is taken care of in her new home. This abolished custom is only leeway to extracting more dowries after marriage, resulting in mental and physical harassment and even suicide or murder of the bride. Dowry has become a burden on not only the bride but also her parents who often go out of their way to arrange for it.
Statistics show that in 2019 alone, 7100 reported dowry death cases were recorded. And this is an improvement from 2014, when nearly 8000 deaths were reported.
Like with the absorption of other rituals and customs of Indian marriages, dowry is given and taken by Muslims. Indian Muslims, unfortunately, have been following this practice instead of giving Mahr.
The benefit of marriage will protect both the husband and wife from committing any haram deed. But since the practice of dowry, marriages are being prevented by guardians because of their inability to pay such huge dowries are demanded. So even if one wants to get married, he cannot afford to, this really defeats the entire purpose of marriage.
“Marry off the free singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing.” (Quran 24:32)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as Saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.)
He also stated: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” (Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as Saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279. )
Even an iron ring can be Mahr as can be deduced from the following Hadith:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to a man who wanted to get married: “Look (for something to give as a Mahr), even if it is a ring of iron.”
Abu Dawood (2125) and al-Nasaa’i (3375) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Ali said: “I married Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, let me go ahead with the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami shield?’ I said, ‘I have it with me.’ He said, ‘Give it to her.’” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3160.)
Ibn Taymiyyah states in Majmoo’ al-Fatawa, 32/194: “Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a Mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.”
It is clear that increasing the mahr and exaggerating it is something that goes against the Shariah. So how can “dowry”, the practice of the bride giving to the groom, even be acceptable?
The wisdom behind reducing the Mahr is to make it easier for people to get married so that they will refrain from committing all kinds of social and moral corruption.
Why then does this practice of dowry prevail when it has claimed so many lives?
Both the giver and the receiver are responsible for keeping this practice of dowry alive. There should be a strong stand against it.
Islamically, it is the Mahr, and it should be as minimal and simple as possible.
And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. (Quran 30:21)
References
https://www.britannica.com/event/Dowry-Prohibition-Act
https://www.britannica.com/topic/dowry
https://www.statista.com/statistics/632553/reported-dowry-death-cases-india/
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/10525/reducing-the-mahr-is-the-sunnah
